Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
