Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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