I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Randomize