A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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