margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
