no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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