Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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