I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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