i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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