I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I showed him my bush... on skype.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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