i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
