Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
