On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
