Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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