Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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