Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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