I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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