Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
