I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
