oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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