the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
