Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Let's get the cat blown out
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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