Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
