I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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