hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
