"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
they're like a gay fantastic four
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
