why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
My penis needs a shock collar
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
