Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
