Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
