He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
