I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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