But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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