Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
The struggles of a small town man whore
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize