if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
