She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
