i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
