wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize