i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Help. Why am I so naked?
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