OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
