Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
