The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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