Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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