That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
