Are we in a gay sports bar?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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