i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
