New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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