I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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