Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I didn't notice because vodka
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
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