We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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