i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
