3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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