There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
