I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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