In the future we'll all be gay
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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