my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Randomize
