Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I am available for nakedness
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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