hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
