Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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