So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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